Day 24 – R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Do you respect me?
Not like, but respect 
Is there a moment where you sit back
After I present an idea where you say
Hmmm
Or 
Is the love I feel only that?

Am I a joke to you?
Just another piece of your life
That you cast aside when finished
Never to think about or revisit
Until it’s time for the clown to perform again

There is a piece of me that always crumbles
Under the silent stare of an artist
My armless body silent 
My heart pounding against stone
Hoping that I can play off my fear with a rocky-toothed smile

You tell me that everyone loves me
I think that’s not enough
Maybe it’s a steady diet of action movies
“I don’t like you, but goddamnit I respect you!”
A shoulder clasp and an one-armed hug

When I take the stage, am I good? 
A piece of me dies every time I ask myself that
I see it fall from my ears, mushy fluid descending to the ground
And I watch my own foot squash it, crush it, pound it into dust

So I ask you, do you respect me?
You take a breath and say yes 
But all I hear is the pause before
The pause that means no

I have your answer