Day 8 – Grandpop

Are you proud of me?
Would you look at me as a man
Or still see me as the boy that 
Used to watch Dukes of Hazzard 
With you

Never knowing that boy would
Spend his life in the South or
That the Confederate flag
Emblazoned on the roof of the General Lee
Would be as commonplace in his life
As the American one. 

I hope you would understand that 
To live a life torn between two extremes 
Is a life not truly lived, a torturous existence
Laid out like a criminal on a rack, feeling
The air flow in between my joints and
Lances of pain carving their way down my spine

I wish you were here to see me graduate,
A rite of passage that meant little to me
But for the people watching, it meant so much
And because of that, my heart was full

I know how it would’ve been to feel your arms
Broad and warm as you pulled me in
For a smoke-scented hug

I read somewhere that your sense of smell
Connects to every part of your brain, that 
It doesn’t know the passage of time, that
You can be transported back to an easier days

So when I smell your brand of cigarette 
In a friend’s words,
On a lover’s breath,
Out in the wide world,

It spirals me back to a kindergarten walk where
I would talk and you would smile, 
My small fingers protected by your broad palm
And all I could see was love.