I was jealous of you
When you dropped
Into my life like a stone
You were funnier.
You were kinder.
You were loved.
I see now that put a
Space between us
Even as we grew closer
A molecular gap stayed
You were my friend.
You were my enemy.
You were my shame.
I knew that I was putting
My insecurities on you
I carry that cross
You are unaware.
You are heavy.
You are dead.
How could I have said this
To your face? My soul
Is kept safe in a vault
I was a fool.
I was a coward.
I was a liar.
You carry my shame too
I know now I will never
Take this regret off
My splintered shoulders
You cradle my secret.
You walk with my weight.
You don’t know my heart.
The air will always be hazy
When I think of you and
I will always wonder if
You knew that I was jealous
You were funnier.
You were kinder.
You were loved.
And I am sorry.
Poetry Overdose 