Addiction

I’ve never been addicted to drugs,
Nothing chemical at least
I’ve been addicted to other things
KFC Potato Wedges with a side of Self-Doubt
Can’t forget the liter of Mountain Dew
A neon chaser of Melancholy
Makes it a lot easier to swallow
A bump of Anxiety and a hit of Depression
Just to even me out for the day
I would pick at the skin
Flaking away the reddened pad of my index finger
Looking around for my next fix
Someone would deal me a stare that took a little too long
Send me into a spiral of shame and self-esteem
I’d wake up on a corner, covered in my own fear
Hoping that I didn’t do anything to embarrass myself
But knowing that I definitely did
My friends would be there for me when I said I was ready to get clean
Ready to see a therapist, ready to drag myself out of the hole
But their support was useless the minute I heard that voice
You are worthless, every choice you’ve made is wrong
You only have yourself to blame, you will end up alone
No one loves you because you are scum
The devil speaking to me with silvered tongue
Saying the words to bring me crawling back for just
One
More
Taste
I’m better than I used to be
I talk more, I feel more
Nicorette gum in my pocket
For when I feel the need
I’ve heard that you never stop
Being an alcoholic, even if
You’ve been sober for years
I don’t know much about that
But I know about addiction