I would sit at the lunch table
In my cafeteria
I think this was the year where I
Was only eating fries with ranch,
Old Bay, salt and pepper on them

My friends would call themselves beaners
As they tried to steal my fries
Eventually they learned

They would say something and then, hand loose,
Pound themselves in the chest
Eventually they learned

But I’m not sure if you ever did
Because even then, as a 14 year old,
I learned that just because you’re an adult
Doesn’t mean that you know
Anything about humor
Anything about decency
Anything about kindness 

I did learn something from you
Comedy should never punch down 
Only up


The unicycle wiggles beneath me
One wheel is not the way to travel
I make my way down the sidewalk
With all the steadiness of a drunk
The day after Prohibition ends

As I do, a girl gives me a thumbs up,
An executive does a double take,
A child smiles as his head follows me,
All bad thoughts of the day gone

I make it to the home, unicycle and all,
I open the door, clown makeup at the ready
This is going to be a hell of a funeral


The walls would say to get up
They’d say that the time you have spent
Staring at this flickering window into the 
True color of humanity is foolish
And short

For every episode you watch, you could be writing
For every episode you watch, you could be running
For every episode you watch, you could be growing

I hear the walls’ message, 
Both resolute and unwavering
So when I get up to get my third beer of the day, I laugh.

For every wall that is built, there is an ending
For every wall that is built, there is a crumbling
For every wall that is built, there is a demolition 

When I die, it will be natural. 
When a wall does, it will be man-made.
A wall knows nothing of life
So why should I care what it says?


Wait for me by the errant sea
The waves that flutter in and out
A butterfly’s wings lightly grazing the sand

The foam grazes your delicate toenails
White cream blends into your worn soles
As their skin compacts the sand from powder into substance

A fluid-filled jellyfish rides the crest of a breaking wave
Its tendrils dangle off of the froth as it passes you
The water is around your ankles, salt dappling your legs

I am on the shore, “stop, you fool” I roar
But as you descend into the water, your hair in a halo
For when I asked you to wait, you told me no


When you tell me that you love me,
Your eye moves, a flutter of a lid, 
And in that I see, shame

You hate me, disgust twists your face,
Spittle flies from your mouth as you
Scream into my face, caking my cheeks 
With your unrestrained malice

I blink

Your face still stays the same, expectant
Waiting for me to react, but I see a shadow
Move in that hesitant smile 

You lie to me, knowing that I’ll believe you
Why? All because you’re too scared of being alone
When a better prospect comes along, you’ll
Grab whatever I’ve given you and go as

I blink

When you tell me you love me, 
I didn’t believe you and, in the end,
All I did was prove myself right


The year is 2020 BC

The cavemen huddle
Waiting for a sign from
Their leader to leave

He is their leader 
Because of his beautiful 
Golden hair, both wispy and
Lustrous

Because he speaks the loudest and 
With the most surety they listen
As he says the outside is safe

Leave the caves, just because it’s
The Ice Age doesn’t mean we
Should stay inside

Leave your furs, you won’t need them
They will just weigh you down and
It’s not that cold
Liberate the Arctic!

So the cavemen walk into the snow and ice,
Naked and cold because they listened

The leader pulls their furs around him
And settles down for a warm nap
The fire burning and warmth in his stomach


Are you proud of me?
Would you look at me as a man
Or still see me as the boy that 
Used to watch Dukes of Hazzard 
With you

Never knowing that boy would
Spend his life in the South or
That the Confederate flag
Emblazoned on the roof of the General Lee
Would be as commonplace in his life
As the American one. 

I hope you would understand that 
To live a life torn between two extremes 
Is a life not truly lived, a torturous existence
Laid out like a criminal on a rack, feeling
The air flow in between my joints and
Lances of pain carving their way down my spine

I wish you were here to see me graduate,
A rite of passage that meant little to me
But for the people watching, it meant so much
And because of that, my heart was full

I know how it would’ve been to feel your arms
Broad and warm as you pulled me in
For a smoke-scented hug

I read somewhere that your sense of smell
Connects to every part of your brain, that 
It doesn’t know the passage of time, that
You can be transported back to an easier days

So when I smell your brand of cigarette 
In a friend’s words,
On a lover’s breath,
Out in the wide world,

It spirals me back to a kindergarten walk where
I would talk and you would smile, 
My small fingers protected by your broad palm
And all I could see was love.


I don’t know how to say it
She makes me feel such…such…

Rage?

No, not that. An emotion that is
Far more complicated

Frustration?

That’s closer. Have you ever 
Done a cinnamon challenge?

The one where you… you…

Eat a spoonful of cinnamon. 
She makes me feel like that. 
There is a burning dust in my throat
And I am unable to swallow. 
There is a pounding headache at 
the base of my skull, static and untreatable
There is an acupuncture needle being inserted 
Into my ear and I can roll my eyes to watch. 

So, how does she make you feel?

I’m watching a gazelle
Move across the African Veldt
But I know that there is a lion watching and 
It is just the way of nature that prey get eaten 
And predators move on 

She makes you feel…like a lion?

No, like the gazelle.


When I prepare to sleep
Place my phone face down
The room sinks into night

The sliver of light
Cuts through the curtain
Of my shuttered eyes
So I turn away 

There is still the silver scar
Across my retina 
A reminder that there is 
An outside and the world 
Goes on without me

But now the only world that matters 
Is in this room and that world is black
So I sleep. Still I see the blaze of light. 
Until I awake in the morning. 

When I am awake, all I see is darkness. 
When I am asleep, all I see is light.


I’m sorry. 
You will be so much like me. 
You will grow up, afraid. 
Not for any good reason. 
Once you understand emotional pain,
There will always be a part of you,
Starved and locked away. 

I’m sorry. 
You will be so much like me. 
Too smart to think about anything
Besides why you have no meaning,
Why your life is purposeless
Why your regrets hang over you
Like a splintered weeping willow
In a Louisiana swamp

I’m sorry. 
You will be so much like me.
One day you will have your own child
Passing down all of your faults
A chain of apology and regret
Gnarled and unbroken
Sin begat sin

Unless

You break the bond
Reject my shame 
Reject my lies 
Instead take from me 
Like a nibble from a blackberry 
A small seed that you can nurture
Until the plant that emerges
Gnarled and unbroken
Has moved out of the muck
And into the new light of tomorrow’s promise

But

I’m sorry. 
You will be so much like me.