Do you respect me?
Not like, but respect 
Is there a moment where you sit back
After I present an idea where you say
Hmmm
Or 
Is the love I feel only that?

Am I a joke to you?
Just another piece of your life
That you cast aside when finished
Never to think about or revisit
Until it’s time for the clown to perform again

There is a piece of me that always crumbles
Under the silent stare of an artist
My armless body silent 
My heart pounding against stone
Hoping that I can play off my fear with a rocky-toothed smile

You tell me that everyone loves me
I think that’s not enough
Maybe it’s a steady diet of action movies
“I don’t like you, but goddamnit I respect you!”
A shoulder clasp and an one-armed hug

When I take the stage, am I good? 
A piece of me dies every time I ask myself that
I see it fall from my ears, mushy fluid descending to the ground
And I watch my own foot squash it, crush it, pound it into dust

So I ask you, do you respect me?
You take a breath and say yes 
But all I hear is the pause before
The pause that means no

I have your answer


I am afloat on a graham cracker raft 
As the monster consumes me whole
His granite teeth puncture gaping holes
Into the bitter floor beneath me
But I am stuck fast, unable to do nothing but watch
As those same teeth crunch their way up my legs

There is a blessing
I feel nothing
No pain as my body is torn to shreds
No fear as my flesh coats the inside of the monster’s mouth

If anything what I feel is his frustration as my corpse sticks
Fast to his teeth to the point of causing rot and decay
He will remember this moment a few months from now
When his mouth hurts from the hole that I have left
For even in death a marshmallow will have its revenge


Wake up, children! It’s a brand new day
The troubles that you had are gone 
They are not in your heart, nor magnified
It is time for you to move on

You think that you feel pain now
But darling you are wrong
You are just too tired 
For the multicolored night is long

When you get out of bed
It will all become clear
That you are not broken vessels
For all of yesterday’s tears

So please please get out of bed 
Shake awake your worries and fears 
You are safe here with me
I will not hear your jeers

Your chests all move
There is no debt to pay
For all you do is sleep
And all I do is pray

I’ve known that you were dead 
Since I saw your skin was gray
But still I cry, wail and beg
Wake up, children! It’s a brand new day


I am royalty in my own heart
The king of all I see
But when I wake up in my own bed
All I am is me

No crowns I wear, 
No robes adorn,
No queens to marry,
No princes born

Most days, my kingdom is poor
With naught but dust to eat
There are bedbug-filled beds
And only flea-bitten sheets

But a few times every year,
A princess comes to town
So I tell the soldiers to clean up
And I let my guard down

But once she leaves, the trash piles up
And the streets are filled with leaves
For when there is no princess,
My heart no longer believes

I am royalty in my own heart
A ruler strong and true 
But at night and day, when I’m alone,
I’m not a king, I’m you


There once was a poet named Matt
Who tried to write a dirty limerick like that
At his mission he failed
And all night he wailed
“Oh why did I drink all that scat?”

I flip the knife over
Metal reflecting the stone
The handle is worn
Smooth from hours of use
It is an old friend

My target, white and fat 
Is unaware of my presence
Unaware of the tears
That will pour out of my eyes
When the mission is done

I do not cry for the pain that I cause
But for the act of slicing into his flesh
It diminishes me, piece by piece,
Until all I am is a slave

Bound by hunger to consume this onion
For what is a footlong Italian sub without one
Meaningless and empty, full of salty meat and withered greens

But the onion collides with my tongue
Flavor dancing down my taste buds
At the end of lunch, I am satisfied with my work
And the day resumes, brighter than it was 


I sit here, waiting for him to open me
When he does, I spring to life,
Inspirational quotes flash on my screen 
But he does not look inspired 
He looks unhappy as he types
There’s an email
He looks worse
Wake up!
It’s a great day!
Oh well, if he can’t appreciate me
I’ll go and just kill myself
SHUT 
IT 
DOWN
Ok now he looks really pissed 


Your eyes are closed as you move around the room
Yet you know when someone is talking or their head slumped
So sharp and aware
So ready for any student’s question

The word very is verboten,
Worth an excommunication
From the Church of McGrath
Of which you are God, bishop,
Priest and altar boy

But I still remember standing in the 
Front of the class performing Shakespeare
And seeing your eyes open and meet mine
As if to say I see you and I understand you

When I blinked so did you but then your eyes stayed closed
And I never saw them open again


Your child will not be coming back
And it’s your fault
There was the chance for you to say

Sorry

You could’ve stopped her leaving
Grabbed her arm 
But instead you grabbed your rosary

Mary

You know that this happened over time
But you cried 
Not for the child you had, but the one that

Died

You stand here, a daisy clutched in your hand
The petals wrinkled and faded
Your eyes wrinkled and faded
Your blouse wrinkled and faded
And know that this is the moment that you will be in…


The leaves are dry, a spiral of color as they fall
The ground is hard, cracking the handles of shovels
But you are here with me and the chill feels less

Life goes like this: pain, sleep, repeat
Pain.
Sleep.
Repeat.
Death.

The IV drips poison into me, clear toxicity
The EKG dings as I wait for the end
But you are the applesauce on my tray, sweet and filling

I know what life is. 
The disappointment I feel when I wake up
Never lessens or fades 

With you next to me, I see in your eyes
Nothing of what I feel reflected back at me
There is joy, love, repeat

Life goes like this: joy, love, repeat
Joy. 
Love. 
Repeat. 
Death. 

That is good.