I Could Never Leave A Friend

I could never leave a friend
That’s why they leave me
For everyone reaches the wall
That stands around me eventually

I could never leave my castle
The iron maiden that I’ve built
Even though the moat is drained
And all the doors are silk

I could never invite someone in
And share my empty halls
For all is blackened brimstone
The castle is not what it was

I see sculptures with outstretched hands
Who beg for me to stay
But their hands turn into grasping claws
So I bat them away

My throne is lonely. My hearth is cold
It’s hard for me to breathe.
I am the one who leaves my friends
They never leave me

AS

I saw your mother and sister at Burlington Coat Factory
A faded friendship that still haunted me
The garbage bag of dirty clothes rolled across your living room
It is hard to make peace with zero words
It is hard to move on when you can’t move forward
How can I forgive when I don’t know what went wrong?

When I look around me now, I see the dissolution you left
The doubt that lingers with me in other’s eyes
Heightened senses telling me that they will all leave
I can’t be anything more that I was then
For I’m frozen in the moment where I saw your mother and sister
At Burlington Coat Factory

Too Close

When you get close to me, do you see the regrets traced across my body?
They wind through the top layers of my skin like dried-up rivers on a faded map

When you touch them, the waters start to flow down the empty canyons.
The dust surrounding the banks grows green and fresh.

The wildlife revives and nestles into the protective mud.
Life blooms.

With that comes predators,
Lurking in the shadows of the foliage,
Mouths filled with heat and sharp

With that comes rot and decay,
Penetrating through the dark soil
Poisoning the bright water

So when you see my rivers of regrets traced across my skin,
Just pretend they are scabs and scars instead.
Better left alone and not picked at.